Tuesday, December 29, 2009

ORDINARY IS SPECIAL



I have observation,In my school days i had some friends ,which I use to meet with whenever I get chance to go to my homeland.In our group I was quite different due to my tom boy image , and one of us was different because she always had big dreams ,She wanted to get rich and famous and free .Her desires were the reasons to her all bold steps she took in life and made herself controversial , her favorite sentence was " One day ,I am not going to be ordinary I am going to be very special ".


This time when I went to see her she looked disturbed again ,though her most of dreams had came true ,Like luxurious life ,exploring world and enjoying freedom.She got married for 2 times with no children but her restlessness is still there .

Whenever I asked her about this she smiled like a wises smile on fool , and replied that restlessness is sign of big personalities .I said to her " I agree with you but before starting journey we must be clear that where we have to reach otherwise in-spite of all we get , we will be still nobody and no where".


Being an ordinary person when I think about special people(specially some examples around ,who just jumped to be special) I find it quite easy I mean all it requires the heart of stone which never gets effected with even worst situations which he himself is responsible for .If one has that heart and courage to step over on others happiness can become easily special .When I saw people working on daily wages all day , get their payments in evening and get meal for their families.I ask my self "Are they ordinary people, who are trying to spend their lifes without harming anyone and don't use their physical or mental power against any one?".

For me they are real special ,because what ever they have Its their own ,they have not snatched it from anyone's hand.And it brings real peace in their lives and faces.My husband is an collage principal we have what one should have to live a normal life bust most important thing we have is deep sense of gratefulness to our Dear God not for only what we have but also for this peace and sense of gratefulness he poured in our heart.And it is his greatest gift for us.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Without A Cup Of Tea



It is airy today ,Sun seems in good mood its shine has a peaceful warmth in it sky is also looking happy with this kindness of sun because it is getting much attention from earth . People look it with a friendly smile .Trees are dancing slightly at the beat of breeze , Sun's today's journey is about to finish now birds have begun their returning flights ,My eyes are running over the scenes and regarding the creator .I am sitting on the chair in my front yard without a hot cup of tea in my hands. Actually I run the one woman show whole day and feeling so much tired right now .


In times like this I really miss to have a daughter more than ever ,My eldest son is very nice Kid and never says no when I ask for help .But you know daughter dont need to be asked for any thing they just read their parents face if they are tired or sick .Any way God always tests us with most wanted things any way its OK , After some while when I'll feel better I'll make my self a cup of tea .


Right now Ali "my husband" is out with his friends otherwise ,Making evening tea is his favorite job .Some times when I sit alone and tired like now and take one fast look on my life or my self I admire my self for not what I do or I've done ,But for my attitude toward life which always stays positive My thirst for learning is still alive , I love to extract knowledge even from a piece of paper on the ground though I have got lot of books.When life gives me time I'll still have a wish to restart My studies and definitely have some kind of career.Till then I am enjoying the childhood of my children helping them in their studies and trying to make them better human beings I feel to be complete enough when I see that my house is neat and clean ,children are happy and healthy and husband have a smile of satisfaction .

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Last part of my village visit .



Hello friends in my country winter is taking bit off now days ,But i hope it wont end as early because the summer is already the longest season here ,in my previous post i shared my visit to a rural area ,which was too interesting .I have some more pics to share related to date garden i hope you guys will like it.


Beautiful picture of Dates trees.Their peak season is summer.


Sweet and delicious dates.Most popular fruit in Sindh ,My province .


This is called Ja-Nimaz ,Muslims use it to offer prayers 5 times a day.It is also a beautiful craft made by dried leaves of date trees.


It is a local handfan also made by leaves and branches of Date trees.


It is a local craft used in many parts of pakistan and india for keeping wheat bread has various names in various areas we call it "Pindi" Made by the same leaves of Date trees.



Women of rural areas use their spare time also making these kind of beautiful bed sheets known as" rilli" in our area .It is made by joining thousands of peaces of colorful clothes in various designs.


Monday, December 21, 2009

A visit to a rural area




Goats of the village know their ways very well.

Its been long time since we visited my sister-in-laws house.Her village is situtated in an area where people still live with their old thoughts and style. Beautiful date garden .dates are main crops of the area.

It is quite far from our city and after traveling from the main road we have to turn to a link road which leads us to that her village,She lives in joint family stem with huge family. A view i saw from the link road.

her father in-law is one of the important heads of the village and owes large property in the village but he did not allowed her to continue her job after the marriage , even he denied his son to join a government job because he does not like the word servant along his family. My mid one sitting on a mango tree.

So women live in a big house with lot of comfort including clothing and jewelry but have huge desires inside their hearts.we spent their just a single day.and shared lot of things which we were gathering for long time in our hearts. My youngest one trying to run a hand pump.

Their feasts were quite heavy due to including lot of meat in almost each dish.My children also had a great time wandering in fields. A stream which falls in our way,looks quite peaceful.

Friday, December 18, 2009

hello friends i been quite busy with guests so did not found the time for sharing sorry,even todyay we are going to my sister in law ;s home will see you latter by

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

its me again "part III"



About 2 years ago she died ,but in her mother's eyes tears are still like the way they would have been on 1st day of her death.God almighty may give them courage to bear this pain.I wont talk about other incident ,because I think it will make this post much heavier ,and that I don't want.During the remaining two days we attended some invitations and had lot of fun,then we returned to the city where my mother and sister live.Next day mother made me many of my favorite dishes .With some stories of our childhood it became even tastier



Day after that my sister planed to go out without children in the night , She suggested this because it would have been a cold night.She took us to a Cinema , which itself was situated in a huge park.It was quiet expensive cinema as compared to cinemas of our city but regarding the place and its atmosphere it was worth those expenses.There I faced some funny misunderstandings while waiting in the hall of cinema , we saw a Chinese or may be Japanese women about 50 with a boy of about
twenties ,Who was playing very caring and obedient,I said to my sister lucky mother and she gave me a laughter and said he is not her son ,he is his husband,I couldn't decide whether i should laugh or not.

And other thing is that ,there was a family beside us among whom were 2 daughters and their parents,the thing which was strange to me was that the teenage daughters were looking well dressed and mature but their mother had very funny bushy type of hair style and funky behavior.Because of it most of peoples around were staring at her.We saw a Indian movie and had lot of fun together .We returned home late night.

Next day we had some guests because of recent festival.And the next day all of us went to a amusement park .where my children enjoyed a lot and so did we.There are lot of pics in the other camera of my sis ,I would like to share them as soon as she sends me those pics.
My Son's first driving experience .


My little one flying a plane.


A beautiful bird in cage.How sad...




My sister with her little princess.

My eldest one.


They just had a fight.


My two angels having great fun playing together.

Friday, December 11, 2009

its me again "part II"

one of them was spacial to me because she used to share her heart with when i was here she was normal looking girl among her five pretty sisters and always treated so bad by her own mother and sisters most of work load was on her shoulders that behavior of her owns made her so sad i dont know how can people do this to their own children,particularly how can a mother treat her child differently on the bases of color or looks It is not a recent picture ,but explains a lot.

,even this time she was not looking happy cause she was married to an old cruel man whom three unmarried sisters treats her same,some time i think god cannot be as careless ,he put us in situations like this be cause he wants us to be awake and fight for our rights.the otherone was the wife of her brother they took me to tree where we used to tied our biggest swing near the yearly festival the tree was not there any more i felt thousands of wet memories in my eyes, My 6 year old son"Asad" with one of his cousin .

meanwhile my son took the camera and went along cuisines for exploring the beauty around,me my sister and some cuisines were together,we had only two days in village so every thing important must be done in time there were some invitations to be attend in relatives and some mishaps to be pray for like suicides of two youngones one the daughter of my ant 's daughter who was being forced to some one against her will cause she liked someone else who was not comparatively well settled so that emotional girl gave her life ,she made a huge mistake which cannot be corrected now her mother ' s regrets and tears cant bring her back.people say she was the most beautiful girl in twon and as well as intelligent god may give her soul restn peace


dear friends i wll continue in next post

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

hello its me again

hello friends i am back from my memorable journey ,it has become a precious part of my life .me and and my mother were seeing each other after long time so hearts were full of happiness and eyes were full of tears which expressed our most of emotions without talking .i found her more weak and tired then before.we talked lot about our past in which we used to sit together and share thoughts with each other about life and situations we faced.she told me lot of funny things about my childhood when i was a baby,those moments gave me fresh new life.
this is a view my beautiful village. you can see the vanished stream

my mother promised me that after my sister goes back to usa she will try to move to my home. my sister seemed to found a treasure ,her happiness could not be described in words.she said that thanks to god who made her life complete.we visited our village which colors were taken by autumn recently stream was almost disappeared brother told me that after dam it happens frequently.we went towards the fields where we used to run and play before ,i found them same we sat there and talked for while some familiar women saw us and came towards us it took while to recognize them these were my childhood friends they were married in another village so we could not met.

sorry friends i think i shall continue tomorrow .

Friday, November 20, 2009

Half Dead plant

Hello friends before leaving for my journey it is for now the last post on this blog i used to write poetry in my native language but however it is my very first attempt to write a poem in english . Take care and goodbye



sick ,
lying alone in an old gray room,
looking at the window ,
where a plant never bloom

speech of emptiness,
with lifeless walls,
right over the roof ,comes the silence fall;
silence of a grave spreads
strange fear,
pillow is waiting for long,

but there is no more tear;

her eyes became of stone,

stuck with the half dead plant,
the only hope that life can grant;

she could not know why;

when ever spring comes by,

her plant receives no green;

why can't it be all alive,
then may she can have the same;
A sparrow sitting close to plant,
knows the secret of half dead plant
,
which can never bloom
,
cause it is of plastic
.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Mission Preparation


I just came in , Its too cold out there .Air is having a little chat with our neem tree and other plants, Birds are trying to get to their nests before its too dark.I spent my whole day standing on my feet .Actually i am pretty much busy in preparation of visit to my soul land.Its goes along with daily routine and makes me more tired but relieved ,By plane its only 2 hours ,but by train it add 20 more hours .Journey by train always fascinates me .Variety of scenes and faces which can be seen passing through the window is a boost for by creativity .

So season is cold,Journey is long and kids are with me ,It makes me bit nervous but more careful .My husband is not coming with me this time ,It is little disturbing but like always he is caring and helpful and this is the relief.I hope i will complete mission of preparation without any mistake and coming moments are going to be much memorable for us.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

UpComing Excitement


Thanks God after two days at last we have got our DSL connection back to normal ,Because it was shut off in previous 2 days .in this area there is only one provider of DSL Broadband which is really worse.

After a week I have to go another city ,My sister came back from USA with her newly born baby girl, She is staying at my mother's home right now .Which is in Islamabad this city is also capital our country,so there are lot of exciting moments coming up .I am going to meet mother after a long time, Nearly almost 2 and a half years ,Is really happy event for me which cannot be expressed by words.I and my husband tried to keep her with us ,But she does not likes the climate here which is mostly warm.
My sweet niece "Dua" meaning pray.

I am so excited to see my knees ,My sis sent me her pics on my e-mail ID ,She is just like her mother who is always like a princess.I am also going to friend my sweetest village ,whenever i meet it i hear the voice of its silence which says "I am missing you since the moment you left because you are the one who sees me through your heart ,No body looks me the way you look an d no body gives me smile the way you used to".
Being with Mother is a blessing.I like this painting .

I have plans to meet my some class fellows , with whom i have been in touch ,They often used to invite me but i was always too busy.So friends until next Saturday i am here to share my thoughts with you guys.Have a blessed life .

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

a gift of winter



From today winter has  started practically .Yesterday's rain has helped it to get a quick start ,Winter has  also its own special beauty like other seasons.All scenes get a strange cover of glumness which holds the heart deeply,every thing seems contract we see most of people sneezing with tissue paper in hands me and my hole family have recently faced the flu and cold,so i can have bit hope that some next days will be remain normal for us cause

flu leave me hardly alone during the winter i think flu is the most oldest disease on earth and most confusing too,



over here our oldies says that never try to stop flu with medicine because it can cause some other infection,they advise to use some herbal treatment which does not stop it but gives bit re leaf. i could never learn how to fight this enemy i remember my grand ma and mother used to give me mind blowing hot  soup  of black pepper,cinnamon,cloves black cardamom which i had take any way no matter how much i hate it after marriage i tried medicine for it but they made my head go round so finally i found my elders'  idea better .god may let us all enjoy the safe and healthy winter.            

Sunday, November 8, 2009

some time fear is good



some days ago we went out on weekend place we chose was a huge park beside the river bank,it was almost evening so park was looking full children were enjoying the swings and elders were sat on benches.before entering the children portion we sat and had some drinks while i saw few children standing near the river there was no protection wall they were laughing and pushing each other and can easily fell in the river nobody was keeping eye on them i could not move from there till they go


,it was my fear which chased me since years.in our village after lunch often girls and women go to the stream where they chat and had evening tea.once were sitting beside the stream and children who chased their mothers were playing near fields,we had lots of fun there and it was getting dark when we decided to go back, one mother could not found her three year old daughter some one said she might have already gone with her elder brother cause he was also not there,we arrived and did not found the girl next day her body was found in village next to ours.that time i was fourteen years old.
i got married seven years after that accident
. people around me often says that i am extra sensitive about my kids but i know that some things cannot be taken easy in any moment,after shifting this new big house this fear saved my youngest son,s life twice ,once when he started crawling he got up the satire while i was in the kitchen seemed someone just shake me i ran to check and seeing him like this was a frightful moment he saw me and try to pass through railing but god made him stuck there and i picked him up in y arms .another time he fell down in the bath tub when i saw him he was almost drowned .so some time fear is really important cause it makes us be careful and protective about our loved ones

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My new neighbourhood


I was doing my laundry work today and it was quite large bundle this time,
When I was with my in-laws in our old house the neighborhood was quite familiar .people were living close to each other from years so there was lot of respect and care for each other but then we found that that house was not big enough for a big family and we bought our new home which was than large enough for our family which consisted of 5 members . I ,my husband and our 3 children.

In the beginning every thing was cool and calm ,Actually i am a person who like to live its own way ,I love to be busy in daily routine ,Looking after my children and house.It used to take almost all of my time and until i finish my work it becomes almost midnight.Before kids when i was free i used to spend my time in my hobbies ,reading , writing,gardening and a bit of movies and music . But now its all .....
impossible.we have got three houses attached with ours , 2 from both sides and 1 from back.Right and back are quite fine but the left ones are really strange.

There lives a women ,who is 2nd wife of her husband who rarely visits her, She has a great habit of spying ,she looks secretly from the main gate of her house out side the street.This i heard from other neighbors.She started visiting me frequently as we shifted in this house .every time she had her children with her all the time aging from 9 to 15.Every time they came was so horrible ,when they entered the house they all spread in every single room of house and act as they are finding some thing hidden they never asked before using anything.The thing i hated most they used to put a local music channel and gave it full volume i mean 100 they never cared what or how i am feeling at the moment and their mother instead of stopping them always encouraged them in their activities .This is what she used to say them" Go children play its your aunts house " ,
I found it quite abnormal because i had never seen it before.I was told earlier that she is hard to handle .But as my nature is ,I thought it might be her loneliness that she got that upset behavior .I often advised her to be busy in some positive activities.but it seemed that she was not happy with my advises .So she started bothering me through her children ,And one day her son threw stones nearly size of a tennis ball while my youngest son was sitting in the yard after having a bath ,it was just a blessing of god that none of the stone touched him ,As my husband came home i told him about this and he went and complained her husband.And after that day nor i visited her and neither she came to me.
She knew my routine in the evening when me and my husband have tea in our little garden her children still make horrible noises standing in front of our home . I don't know when but one day I pray it should end and I shall live in peace.I remembered her today because she never forgeted to visit me during my laundry .I pray that god my never give neighbors like this to anyone.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Is it fear or something else

May be it is previous night that made me write about this otherwise i avoid this topic. Yes , there is a reason behind it .When I was a child my Grandma used to tell me fairy tales and events when she felt super natural energy around her .Our village was surrounded by hills covered with thick forests , When i first saw my village it was much populated and forests had became quite thinner due to regular cutting of trees by villagers .I always heard fairy tales with great interest and never felt frightened by any supernatural story .


I always loved nature , animals are important part of village life so i used to see them around ,animals like cow ,buffaloes ,goats, hen, and chicks.I often saw chicks coming out of eggs and excitement at that time could never forgotten .We also had a kitten ,latter which became a really gentle and obedient cat and never was a threat for chicks and kitchen stuff.My mother told me that when i was a baby and once was laying alone she saw a cat staring at me and a little later i fell ill seriously .


This story also did not frightened me .But after some time an incident made me really depressed for some time ,Once when i was in my aunt's home and was having chat with my cousin ,she showed me some new born chicks ,i picked up one in my hand and continued my chat suddenly a cat jumped from the front wall and dragged the chick from my hands, It all happened so sudden that i could not understand for a while that what happened ,Then i saw that cat with chick in its mouth .The cat could not run because it was a tiny room and i was in middle of the room ,I closed the door quickly and tried to get the chick back but the cat resisted and then she closed her jaws even more tightly ,I could not see it i picked a thick stick near me and hit the cat I don't know how and why but cat split some blood from her mouth and died at the moment.Every thing again happened so fast that i could not find my self to analyse or decide some thing .


Latter my cousin told me that the cat was a new pet of their's brought by her brother. It took time for me to be normal nearly a hundred times i thought about my that sudden reaction but could not make it clear that was it right or wrong , because I am not a person who can even think to hurt any living being .As years passed i forgot about it but some months before when we shifted in our new home i unconsciously started thinking about it because in night while i offer my pray in yard i often see a cat staring at me from wall.Mostly it happens when no one is around .I am not frightened nor relating it with previous accident but I think for a moment that can those stories be true that some cats have evil spirits and come back for revenge .but this thought does not stays up for long because I truly believe that God is always with us He never leaves us alone.And when he is with us we shouldn't be worried about evils because he certainly will take care of us.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sorrows of the valley

We know that winter and autumn are close friends and Winter is stepping in the valley silently but green valley has listened the voice of its cold steps .
Now she knows that she has to give her most Glorifying jewelery to autumn .Baili and me sitting on a hill ,looking at the green face of valley turning in to golden slowly .trees of the valley know that their all leaves will leave them alone soon.Branches are trying to convince that if it moves slow they can enjoy their dear friend's company a little more , But its not working.

Air is always free to make its choices and this time it seems pitiless .Me and baili can here the cries of leaves they want to stay little more ,they are not done with their dancing and enjoying the company of sun rays. They don't know the reason which has turned air as their cruel enemy from a loving friend with whom they once used to share their all secrets. We both can see that how hard it is to say goodbye to leaves by trees.

While sitting there we saw countless tears falling from the eyes of trees on the heart of valley.Valley is really sad for all of its friends .emptiness of the branches when they stay opened for birds but find no one , Hurts the valley .When most of the birds fly away then silence and loneliness hurt the valley alot .When it sees the sadness in the eyes of few birds which left behind she can not bear it .All the tiny ways lying in the valley seems to be strangely sad ,like they are expecting some one.

We took a deep breath and felt the fragrance of tears of leaves then we looked at the stream which was looking so proud of her beauty that it had no time for stopping by and sharing the pain of the valley.We saw her turing proudly on her curves with shiny smile which includes a little cruility like she is saying "watch me ! and move with life ,cause stopping is death..."

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

perfect world



Some times baili takes me to the world of happiness ,where all people believe in one true relation of humanity .Everyone cares about others and nobody gets heart from anyone. people in that world are bounded to each other like pearls in a bracelet,there are some rulers too ,but they think of their people as they think about themselves,they care about this world just like their own homes.they are not acting like puppets in some powerful hands .
They are not trying to turn this world in to a huge market so they can sell their weapons widely they are a bunch of nice persons who rule by their golden rules of humanity they understand that God has given them the responsibility of looking after their people .and they believe the hole material on this earth should be beneficial for every single person equally they spend their 24*7 in beneficial activities for their peoples .
They survey strictly that no one in this world should sleep hungry , and every child goes to its school.They have spread their man all over the world not to look for other's weakness but to make sure that every one is alright and has food ,shelter and peace , they arrange all over equal opportunities of jobs by planting industries ,developing agriculture and social works ,so everyone their bread easily.They know that without
providing basic needs no body can live happily .

In this world their is no country without food because there are no countries which waste their food on a large scale and find food fighting funny.people of this land are so lucky ,i feel happy for them and i really desire that our world also becomes like this.