Friday, November 20, 2009

Half Dead plant

Hello friends before leaving for my journey it is for now the last post on this blog i used to write poetry in my native language but however it is my very first attempt to write a poem in english . Take care and goodbye



sick ,
lying alone in an old gray room,
looking at the window ,
where a plant never bloom

speech of emptiness,
with lifeless walls,
right over the roof ,comes the silence fall;
silence of a grave spreads
strange fear,
pillow is waiting for long,

but there is no more tear;

her eyes became of stone,

stuck with the half dead plant,
the only hope that life can grant;

she could not know why;

when ever spring comes by,

her plant receives no green;

why can't it be all alive,
then may she can have the same;
A sparrow sitting close to plant,
knows the secret of half dead plant
,
which can never bloom
,
cause it is of plastic
.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Mission Preparation


I just came in , Its too cold out there .Air is having a little chat with our neem tree and other plants, Birds are trying to get to their nests before its too dark.I spent my whole day standing on my feet .Actually i am pretty much busy in preparation of visit to my soul land.Its goes along with daily routine and makes me more tired but relieved ,By plane its only 2 hours ,but by train it add 20 more hours .Journey by train always fascinates me .Variety of scenes and faces which can be seen passing through the window is a boost for by creativity .

So season is cold,Journey is long and kids are with me ,It makes me bit nervous but more careful .My husband is not coming with me this time ,It is little disturbing but like always he is caring and helpful and this is the relief.I hope i will complete mission of preparation without any mistake and coming moments are going to be much memorable for us.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

UpComing Excitement


Thanks God after two days at last we have got our DSL connection back to normal ,Because it was shut off in previous 2 days .in this area there is only one provider of DSL Broadband which is really worse.

After a week I have to go another city ,My sister came back from USA with her newly born baby girl, She is staying at my mother's home right now .Which is in Islamabad this city is also capital our country,so there are lot of exciting moments coming up .I am going to meet mother after a long time, Nearly almost 2 and a half years ,Is really happy event for me which cannot be expressed by words.I and my husband tried to keep her with us ,But she does not likes the climate here which is mostly warm.
My sweet niece "Dua" meaning pray.

I am so excited to see my knees ,My sis sent me her pics on my e-mail ID ,She is just like her mother who is always like a princess.I am also going to friend my sweetest village ,whenever i meet it i hear the voice of its silence which says "I am missing you since the moment you left because you are the one who sees me through your heart ,No body looks me the way you look an d no body gives me smile the way you used to".
Being with Mother is a blessing.I like this painting .

I have plans to meet my some class fellows , with whom i have been in touch ,They often used to invite me but i was always too busy.So friends until next Saturday i am here to share my thoughts with you guys.Have a blessed life .

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

a gift of winter



From today winter has  started practically .Yesterday's rain has helped it to get a quick start ,Winter has  also its own special beauty like other seasons.All scenes get a strange cover of glumness which holds the heart deeply,every thing seems contract we see most of people sneezing with tissue paper in hands me and my hole family have recently faced the flu and cold,so i can have bit hope that some next days will be remain normal for us cause

flu leave me hardly alone during the winter i think flu is the most oldest disease on earth and most confusing too,



over here our oldies says that never try to stop flu with medicine because it can cause some other infection,they advise to use some herbal treatment which does not stop it but gives bit re leaf. i could never learn how to fight this enemy i remember my grand ma and mother used to give me mind blowing hot  soup  of black pepper,cinnamon,cloves black cardamom which i had take any way no matter how much i hate it after marriage i tried medicine for it but they made my head go round so finally i found my elders'  idea better .god may let us all enjoy the safe and healthy winter.            

Sunday, November 8, 2009

some time fear is good



some days ago we went out on weekend place we chose was a huge park beside the river bank,it was almost evening so park was looking full children were enjoying the swings and elders were sat on benches.before entering the children portion we sat and had some drinks while i saw few children standing near the river there was no protection wall they were laughing and pushing each other and can easily fell in the river nobody was keeping eye on them i could not move from there till they go


,it was my fear which chased me since years.in our village after lunch often girls and women go to the stream where they chat and had evening tea.once were sitting beside the stream and children who chased their mothers were playing near fields,we had lots of fun there and it was getting dark when we decided to go back, one mother could not found her three year old daughter some one said she might have already gone with her elder brother cause he was also not there,we arrived and did not found the girl next day her body was found in village next to ours.that time i was fourteen years old.
i got married seven years after that accident
. people around me often says that i am extra sensitive about my kids but i know that some things cannot be taken easy in any moment,after shifting this new big house this fear saved my youngest son,s life twice ,once when he started crawling he got up the satire while i was in the kitchen seemed someone just shake me i ran to check and seeing him like this was a frightful moment he saw me and try to pass through railing but god made him stuck there and i picked him up in y arms .another time he fell down in the bath tub when i saw him he was almost drowned .so some time fear is really important cause it makes us be careful and protective about our loved ones

Thursday, November 5, 2009

My new neighbourhood


I was doing my laundry work today and it was quite large bundle this time,
When I was with my in-laws in our old house the neighborhood was quite familiar .people were living close to each other from years so there was lot of respect and care for each other but then we found that that house was not big enough for a big family and we bought our new home which was than large enough for our family which consisted of 5 members . I ,my husband and our 3 children.

In the beginning every thing was cool and calm ,Actually i am a person who like to live its own way ,I love to be busy in daily routine ,Looking after my children and house.It used to take almost all of my time and until i finish my work it becomes almost midnight.Before kids when i was free i used to spend my time in my hobbies ,reading , writing,gardening and a bit of movies and music . But now its all .....
impossible.we have got three houses attached with ours , 2 from both sides and 1 from back.Right and back are quite fine but the left ones are really strange.

There lives a women ,who is 2nd wife of her husband who rarely visits her, She has a great habit of spying ,she looks secretly from the main gate of her house out side the street.This i heard from other neighbors.She started visiting me frequently as we shifted in this house .every time she had her children with her all the time aging from 9 to 15.Every time they came was so horrible ,when they entered the house they all spread in every single room of house and act as they are finding some thing hidden they never asked before using anything.The thing i hated most they used to put a local music channel and gave it full volume i mean 100 they never cared what or how i am feeling at the moment and their mother instead of stopping them always encouraged them in their activities .This is what she used to say them" Go children play its your aunts house " ,
I found it quite abnormal because i had never seen it before.I was told earlier that she is hard to handle .But as my nature is ,I thought it might be her loneliness that she got that upset behavior .I often advised her to be busy in some positive activities.but it seemed that she was not happy with my advises .So she started bothering me through her children ,And one day her son threw stones nearly size of a tennis ball while my youngest son was sitting in the yard after having a bath ,it was just a blessing of god that none of the stone touched him ,As my husband came home i told him about this and he went and complained her husband.And after that day nor i visited her and neither she came to me.
She knew my routine in the evening when me and my husband have tea in our little garden her children still make horrible noises standing in front of our home . I don't know when but one day I pray it should end and I shall live in peace.I remembered her today because she never forgeted to visit me during my laundry .I pray that god my never give neighbors like this to anyone.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Is it fear or something else

May be it is previous night that made me write about this otherwise i avoid this topic. Yes , there is a reason behind it .When I was a child my Grandma used to tell me fairy tales and events when she felt super natural energy around her .Our village was surrounded by hills covered with thick forests , When i first saw my village it was much populated and forests had became quite thinner due to regular cutting of trees by villagers .I always heard fairy tales with great interest and never felt frightened by any supernatural story .


I always loved nature , animals are important part of village life so i used to see them around ,animals like cow ,buffaloes ,goats, hen, and chicks.I often saw chicks coming out of eggs and excitement at that time could never forgotten .We also had a kitten ,latter which became a really gentle and obedient cat and never was a threat for chicks and kitchen stuff.My mother told me that when i was a baby and once was laying alone she saw a cat staring at me and a little later i fell ill seriously .


This story also did not frightened me .But after some time an incident made me really depressed for some time ,Once when i was in my aunt's home and was having chat with my cousin ,she showed me some new born chicks ,i picked up one in my hand and continued my chat suddenly a cat jumped from the front wall and dragged the chick from my hands, It all happened so sudden that i could not understand for a while that what happened ,Then i saw that cat with chick in its mouth .The cat could not run because it was a tiny room and i was in middle of the room ,I closed the door quickly and tried to get the chick back but the cat resisted and then she closed her jaws even more tightly ,I could not see it i picked a thick stick near me and hit the cat I don't know how and why but cat split some blood from her mouth and died at the moment.Every thing again happened so fast that i could not find my self to analyse or decide some thing .


Latter my cousin told me that the cat was a new pet of their's brought by her brother. It took time for me to be normal nearly a hundred times i thought about my that sudden reaction but could not make it clear that was it right or wrong , because I am not a person who can even think to hurt any living being .As years passed i forgot about it but some months before when we shifted in our new home i unconsciously started thinking about it because in night while i offer my pray in yard i often see a cat staring at me from wall.Mostly it happens when no one is around .I am not frightened nor relating it with previous accident but I think for a moment that can those stories be true that some cats have evil spirits and come back for revenge .but this thought does not stays up for long because I truly believe that God is always with us He never leaves us alone.And when he is with us we shouldn't be worried about evils because he certainly will take care of us.