Friday, April 21, 2017

A cute photo ! and a Related Story

Hello   Dear    Friends!

Hope  and   pray    that   all    of    you    are   filling    exact   and   precise     amount    of    your   desires     in   the    blank    check    of    LIFE     given   in    your   hands   by    your    Creator.

It    makes    easy   everything   if    we    already    know    clearly   that    what    we   ACTUALLY    want    and   don't   feel    tempted    by    false    shine    of    sand   who    gives    to  our   eyes   the    illusion    of    water .

Dear   friends    few    days   ago   i    saw    this   cute      photo   on   Facebook    shared   by   by   someone   whom   i    don't   know   personally     though    but    found    interesting   enough   to   save  in   my   smart   phone   gallery .



Tow    days     ago    i   went   to   meet   one   of   my    sister   in   law [wife  of  hubby's   brother]   where  i    met    her   sister   who   was   good   friend   of   mine  . She    for   the    first   time    seemed   so    broken    and   sad.  She   made   me    shock   with   her   harsh    words    and    hateful   accent    for   her    husband   to    whom    she   was   married   since    more   than   23   years .


It    was   love   marriage    arranged    by     parents .Both   husband   and   wife   were   idealized    as    perfect    couple   and   never   heard   of   any    clash   or   even   rumor   of   little    misunderstanding  . She   looked   happily   settled    with   man   of   her   dreams   who   was  established   well   economically  too.  They    have    four   daughters    and    three   sons   and   most   of   them   are   grownups   now.

She   was   sharing   her   pains   for   the   first    time   that   she    loved   and   choose   this   man   because   she   knew    that   he   is   all    by   his   own   and   has   no   family   around   to   bother .She   wanted   a   separate   home   without   any   kind   of   inlaws    relationship   to   enjoy   her   life   with    freedom   and   obvious   love   with   her   husband.

She    told    that    she   got   what   she   wanted.   Unlike   her   other    sisters    who   were   stuck    in   joint    family   system   she   was   having   fun  full   life   with   her   man.  She   said   she   thought   it    all    would       go   same   forever   but   within  two   years    she    felt   that   her   husband   lost   his   interest   in    her .She   also   later   heard   about   his   affairs    but   stayed   silent   because    she   did    not   want   anyone    to    find   out   her   fallen    situation    as   she   felt   with   each   day   as   she   is   falling    into   deep   dark   well.

She   told   that   after   those   early   two   years   she   only   suffered   with   the   cruel   and   rude   behavior   of   her   husband .She   said   she  doesn't   want   live  with   this   man   anymore  as   she   is   tired  of   pretending   as   perfect    couple  .

I   cannot   tell   how   shocked   i   was   because   i   used   to   appreciate   this   couple   and   idealized   them   as  a  best   couple  .  Because    here   mostly   couple   have   to   live   in   joint   families   and     parents    are   not   left   alone .   Specially   when   they   are   very   old . In    such   conditions   a   couple    since   early   days   of   their   marriage   cannot    afford   to   be  EXPRESSIVE   or   EXPOSED  in   their   love   relationships   while   surrounding   by   so   many,   Somehow    it    keeps   the   attraction   of   both   for   each   other   strong   and   mostly   by    the   time   love   and   bonding   get    stronger   and   deeper   among   them.

Though   sometime   if   people   around   are   negative    they   affect   relationship   in   bad   ways   too  but  both  possibilities   exist   there   equally.  I    spent   16    years   and   really   hard   one   with   my   in   laws   ,Hard   times    raised   differences   between   us   often   in   early   years   of   marriage.   But   each   time   we   get   annoyed   with   each   other   we   realized    that    we   cannot   live   without   talking   to   each   other    for   more   than   few   days   .An   unseen   force   compelled   us   towards   each   other   and   we   got   back   to   our   normal   behaviors.

One  thing   that   made   our   relationship    work   is   i   believe   that    once    in    a   while   we   both   appreciated   and   acknowledged    each   other's   effort    for   making   this   marriage   and   life    together    work    successfully .   These     appreciations    echoed   in    our   heart   whenever    we   were   annoyed .

I    strongly    believe   that    acknowledgment     and   appreciation    is   key   to   successful   marriage  .While   facing   up down  situations   remembering   the   GOOD   TIMES  THAT    WE   HAD   TOGETHER   is   another   most   important    thing .  Physical    pleasures    are    timely   attraction   but    spiritual    bounding     is    True   Base   of   a   healthy    relationship  that   is   what  i   believe.

i   think   this   topic   can   extends   into   endless   posting  friends ,so   i   have   to   stop  and   say   "   See    you   soon   my   friends!
Please    keep   check   on   yourself   as   if   you   are   taking   good   care   of   yourself   in   all   means   or   not.  Stay   strong  and   focused  to   be  happy   and  to   make   your   environment  happy  too!

God    Bless    You    All!




27 comments:

  1. Very good advice from you...you are wise! You will be blessed for taking care of your inlaws/parents! Andrea

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  2. It is a great photo!

    Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? Relationships may not be what they appear to be.

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  3. Interesting and wise post about life as usual Baili, thanks for sharing.

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  4. MS is correct about behind closed doors. THe only thing worse than divorce is living you life out in a bad or even abusive relationship.

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  5. Yes, it is so true that we can never see the truth of a relationship from the outside "appearances." People erect and maintain elaborate facades all too often.

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  6. The picture of the older couple is so beautiful. And the story of the young woman so unhappy in her marriage struck my heart. I wish her the best.

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  7. That is great picture.

    I agree with your sentiments on relationships. I live in very different part of the world as you do, and yet what you say is applicable to where I live too.

    I have been happily married for over twenty years. Many of my family and friends are divorced. Some of them seemed to be perfect for a while too.

    Have a great day!

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  8. That is a very thoughtful post. I think that, especially living in North American, as I can only speak for myself, I've noticed that people are just too easy to dispense with each other. They let negativity ruin their lives and their relationships to the point where they have regret but are no longer able to fix things. My boyfriend and I had a whirlwind relationship at first and had some ups and downs, but our goal was always "together forever" and to be respectful and happy as we learned about each other. We both worked towards a balance and to try and respect each others' wishes and space requirements if we disagree on something. Trust, for me, is the core of a good relationship.

    I'm sorry about your friend and her relationship. I think it's sad to be living such a life, we are all meant to be happy. Sometimes what other people expect of us is the thing that makes us hide and pretend. I personally don't want to leave this world knowing that i led an unhappy life so every decision I make is to bring joy and happiness and gratitude to myself and my family first. Anyway that's just my opinion and it works for me! :)

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  9. I agree with you, spiritual bounding (and frienship) is the only way to make any relationship work.

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  10. A very nice photo.
    I enjoyed reading your post ...

    It is true, life is sometimes not what it seems as we look from the outside in.It is only those who are inside that truly know what goes on behind closed doors.

    All the best Jan

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  11. Thank you for this beautiful picture and the prized insights.
    May you always be blessed.

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  12. You boil things down to a very realistic and practical situation.

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  13. You never truly know what's going on in someone else's relationship. Sometimes people pretend to be happy not just for the world but also for themselves. That is such a great photo. So sweet!

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  14. Wise words, baili! I agree fully. And I feel badly for your friend. It must be awful to be so unhappy.

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  15. Sad about that couple but at least the lady told you of her misery, so many years of it. Arranged marriages or not arranged we just don't know what goes on behind those doors when couples are alone.
    Can't imagine living with my deceased in laws when they were alive for 16 years - I expect a lot of holding the tongue on my part would have to have been in order.
    We have had our youngest son, his wife and their 3 children live with us for a couple of periods of their married lives, it worked for us but it certainly wan't for a long time.

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  16. I love the photo that you saved on your iPhone. You can see the love and affection this elderly couple has for each other. That's a sad story about about your friend who is the sister of your sister-in-law. Looks like what she thought she wanted was a mirage. It would be very hard for me to live in such a relationship. Perhaps she will find more happiness in enjoying her children and their families. You have a wise and grounded understanding of life and what is important. Take care my friend!

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  17. Reading about your friend and her relationship saddened me as well. She obviouslynfelt comfortable enough with you, Baili, to share her sadness. Somethines, being a good listener is the best thing friends can do. I agreed with your comments sharing good times ( and bad as well) is more important than purely a physical relationship. Because it's how you truly get to know your partner.

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  18. A picture tells a thousand words.

    Your wise words.

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  19. Thank you for your visit, Baili. You are right about marriage. A good marriage must have respect, kindness and communication... not necessarily in that order. They all carry equal weight.

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  20. You never know what is going on behind close doors! Your advice for a good marriage is very wise! Big Hugs!

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  21. So thankful that at a young age you learned how to make the best of the situation with your inlaws, and how the Lord has blessed you because of it. So sad to see people who think they have to put on a show as a perfect couple, that is too much of an image to live up to, and of course, failure can be imminent. But when we acknowledge our mistakes, our human flaws, and turn to the Lord for help, it is He who helps us through those dark times of our lives. This was a good post Baili, and I'm sorry for your friend whose heart is hurting over her marriage, I will pray for her! Hugs to you today :)

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  22. Uma imagem muito bela. Gostei de ler o que escreveu sobre o relacionamento das pessoas...
    Uma boa semana.
    Beijos.

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  23. Its a love little photo. It quite interesting to consider various cultural difference such as arranged marriage still happen. In the UK our cultural is so different as we can choose our partners and end relationships if they finish. For example my personal circumstance is I cohabit (not married) with my partner I chose, despite my dad's oppions. We have been together 3 three years and purchased a house together. However, there is an age difference but I see myself spending the rest ours days together. I admire people like my Grandma's generation who married for love and still remained with each other for all their lives. I still like at least we have the options of being able to end reletionship without stigma and being miserable.

    Thanks for sharing

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  24. Nice picture... Life is really mysterious...

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