Wednesday, April 12, 2017

The Girl interrupted , Sometime it happens

Hello  my  precious  friends !


Hope    and   pray   that    you    are   learning   more   and  more   ART   OF   LIFE   by   the   each   passing   day.

Time  is    naughty    teacher   though   and   it's   ways   of    teaching   are   unpredictable    and   Technics    are    surprising     yet   good   students   never   skip   the   class   and     never    avoid   the   studies   until    the   last   breathe .


We    all    know    that    no   matter    whatever   we    do   LEARNING   is   the   ONLY   SOURCE   OF    PLEASURE .  While   facing   the   toughest    times  of   life   or   during    being   entertain    by    any    form   of   art     we    get    sense   of   joy    consciously   or   unconsciously     because    we   Learn!

Sometime    we    learn   from   mistakes   that   other   make   and   sometime   lessons   comes   from   wiser   resources    around   us  .We     admit   it   or   not   we   learn   more   from    people   who   are   less   clever   or   called   fools , While    laughing    at   them   huge   joy   comes    from   the   learning    that  " we   will  never   be   doing   this" .

People   who   absorb   positivity   from   this   process   of   learning  change   somehow   for   better     and    today   i   am   sharing   with   you   an   incident   which   often   springs    up   in   my   mind   when   usually    i    watch    some   drama    or   movie    with   happy   ending   when   all    characters   at   the   end   change    their   perspective   and   behavior    and   things   resolve   finally   with   ease.


When   my   grandma    admitted    me   in   the   school   i   was   eight  [ we  migrated  from  city  to  village  when  i  was  six  and  mom;s  brother  were  not  letting  me  go   to   school  because  for   a   girl   it   was   not   safe  and  right  they  thought , so  mom  's   courage   took   two   more   years   to   go   against  them   and   send   me   school ]    and   only   girl   from   the   village     among    some   boys   including   my   cousins .  We      everyday   go   to    school   by   walking    on   hills   covered   with   bushes   and   in   the   beginning   i   fell   lot   and  my   knees   were   always   injured    as    it   was   absolutely   new   thing   for   me   but    i    loved   this   adventurous   journey   every time .

There  were  and  are  two   kinds  of   school   ,one   the  govt  school  with  free  education   where  kids  learn   all   subjects  in  national   language Urdu.Other  Private  school   where  students  learn  English  alongwith  Urdu  and  fesses  are  quite  high


The  school   was   in   another   village .It   had     few   large   rooms   but   chairs   were   only   for   teachers .  All   the    students   would   sit   on    the   long    rectangular      mats   in   the   huge   front    yard   with    an   very    old     tree     and   hand   pump.  There    were   only   two   teachers  of  middle    for   almost   70   plus   kids   from   grade   one    to   grade   five . When    my   teacher   took   my   admission    test   he   had   put   me   in   grade    two   because   i   passed   it   with   good   marks .

All    the   boys   in   school   were   little    undisciplined   and   kind   of   wild   to   me   because   they    used   to   talk    so   loudly   and   often   fight   with   each   other   on   hand pump   specially.

Most    of   them    were   tall    and   i   felt   scare   of   them   particularly   when   after   each    test    my   teacher   praised   me   for    my    performance   front   of   them   and   asked    them   to   be   "cock" [it  was  term  for  punishment  in  which   boys   had   to  sit   in  a  very   weird   position  by   crossing   their   arms   under   their   legs and   hit   them   on    their   buts   while   saying   that  
"shame   on   you   all  boys"look   at   this   little   girl   she  is    tall   as   your   leg   and  in   many   grade   behind   but   she   defeated   you  all"

The    boys   seemed    so   angry   with   me   and   i   could   sense   their   hate   for   me .There   were  four    more   girls   in  school ,one   in   my   grade    and  two    in   four  . In   school    me   and   five  other   boys   of  my   village   were   treated   like   outsiders   because   all   other   students   belonged   to   the   same   village   where   school   was   situated .

By    the   time   as   teachers   likening   raised   for   me   the   hate   of   the    other   students    arose    even     more  .The    other    girl   who   was   in   my   grade   was   biggest    problem    for   me   already   and   i   realized   that    boys   of   her   village   pumped    her   against   me   more .

She   stole   my   money   threw   my   lunch    and   pulled   my   braid    many   times   to   tease   me   to   fight   with   me .I   sense   her    plan   and   remained    patient   as   i   knew   that   if   we   had   fight    other   girls   will   support    her   too.   I   could   not   tell    teacher   because    she   left   no   evidence  ever.   I   knew   if   i   will   tell   mother   she   will   come   to   school   and   talk   to   the   teachers    but    then   everyone   will   make   fun   of    me   that   i   was   coward   and   called   mom   for   help    instead   of   facing   it   by   own.

One    day    when   it   was      break    time   and   teachers   were   in    rooms    Nazima [the girl's name]  pushed   me   so   hard   while   i   was   leaning   over   the   hand   pump   and   drinking   water  ,my   face   slammed    with   pump   and   nose    started   bleeding  .Nazima   and   other  both   girls   were   laughing   and   so   the   all   boys   except   the   five   my   villagers .I   was    shaking   with   both    the   fear   and   anger  .I   got   up   from    the   ground   and   tried    to   push   her  but   three   of   them    started    beating  me   and   pulling   my   braid   ,i   fell   on   ground   again   my   eyes   were   shut    due   to   tears   ,sweat   and   hair  .All    i    could    feel    my    hands   grip    on   her   shirt   and   i   was   pulling   it    to   make   her   fell   down   with   me    so   i   could   beat   her   too.

I   Did    not    know    what   happened   suddenly   that   they   took   their   hands   off   me   with   some   strange   kind   of   screaming . When   i   opened   my    eyes   i   was    shocked    and   really   more   than   shocked   that    Nazima   was   sitting   on   her    knees    on   ground    and   shouting   that    i   took   off    her   pants [she  was  11 ]. 

 Both   male   teachers   came    out   they   saw   the   situation   and   without   asking   anything   one   of   them   took   a   thick    stick   and    hit   my   knees   by    saying   that   you   did   a   very   shameful   act  .I    still    remember    that   tear   pouring   from   my   eyes   not   for   that   punishment   but   for   that   blame .

That   day   i   took   more   then   two    hours   to    reach    home   instead   of   half   hour  because   i   was   unable   to   walk   properly   yet   pain   i   felt   was   that   disgraceful   blame   was  more   than   physical    misery .

Next    day  mom   went   to   school   and   angrily   asked   about  it   from  teachers  .They   said   if   they   would   have   not   react   such   way    there   would   be   a   revolt   and   protest   against   them  because  it   was   about   a   girl's   dignity ,   they   said   i   am   very   brilliant   student   though    but   it   was    obvious   and   necessary   as   that   girl   belong   to   a   wealthy   family  . Mom   was   so   sad   and   angry   she   believed   me   that   i   did   not   do   it   and    my    villager   boys   also   told   her   everything   Nazima   used   to   do   me .

Mother   immediately   decided  that   she   will   not   send   me   to   this   school   again .
Next    week    she   took   me   the   girls    high    school   where   only   girls  were    studying   and   all   the   teachers   were    female .This   was   my   biggest    relief   that   from   now   i   will   be   away   from   boys    school    and   specially   Nazima   was   not   in   my   life   anymore .
But   my   happiness   could   not   last   for    long   when    after   three   months  new   admissions   opened   after   exams  one   day   Nazima   appeared   again   as   my   class   mate .A   strange    strong   fear   waved   inside   my   body   when   i   saw   her   front   of   me   .

Her   smile   and   snake like  eyes   were    saying   me   that  "I   am   after  you   ,you   can't   get   rid  of  me"    I   really   wanted   to   disappear   in   air  ,she   was   weird  and   frightful   .I   could   not   understand   that   why   she   hated   me   as   much     that    chased   me   here   too. Just    to   make   me   in   trouble   she   put   her   in   disgust   and   now   i   could   imagine  that   she   can   go   any   further     to   hurt   me   and   it  made   me   so   afraid .


I   was   lucky   that    before   her   coming   i   made   many   new   friends   and   got   lots   of   appreciation   from   my   teachers  [later    when  i  got  in   high   classes  i  was  lucky   enough   to   be   one   of   my   principal's  favorite   student  too] .
Since   beginning   i   got   terribly   bad   handwriting   but   still  my   teachers   accepted  and   adored  my   hard   work   and   it   was   huge   satisfaction   for   me .Back   to   Nazima   who   tried   her   best   to   take   my   friends   away   and   make   me   insulted   by   my   teacher   by   her   clever   tricks  .Her   efforts   were   very  high   and   easily   noticed   by   my   friends   and   teachers. 

 But   this   time   God   Blessed   me   with   honor   and   when   one   day   in  exit   time  while  we   were   standing  in  the   line  to   move   towards   the   gate   she   acted   like   pushed   her  and   she   threw   her   bag  on   ground   and   everything   spread   here  and  there. She   was  literly  actually  crying  and   running   towards   the   principal   office   while   saying  that   shabana   hit   me   and   threw   my    bag  .I   was   shocked   again   by   her   acting   skills  but   surprisingly   principal   slapped   her   so   badly   and   fired   her   out   by   saying   that  " we   been   noticing  you  since  you  are  here  and  know  your   history   too,this   school   is   not  a   place   where   you  came   for   politics   or   fighting "

Coming   years   were   some   of   most   beautiful   for  me  in   the   school  and   are   still  as   treasure  in   my  heart.

After   finishing  my   school   i   got  a  government  teaching  job   but   could   not  continue   because  mom   got  me  married  after  two  years.  After   six   years   of   my   marriage  when   once   i   went   to   my   mother's   home   mom   told  me   that   one   day   Nazima   came   to   see   you   and   she  was   apologizing   with   teary   eyes   for   her   previous   misbehavior  with   you  ,i   told  her   that   you   live  in   city   far   away   now   than   she  said   kindly  let  me  know  when  she  visit  her   i   will   say   sorry   to   her   .

I  never    wanted   to   see   her   but   by   chance   we  met   on   a  wedding   ceremony   of   common    friend .She   came   near   and   hugged   like   she   someone  so   closed  to  heart.  i   was  amazed   by    her   new   look   .Gentleness   and   peace   replaced   that   evil   desperation   on   her   face .She   talked    for   so   long   ,in   short   she   said   that   she   hated   me   because   i   was   everyone's   favorite  and  specially   because   my  mother  loved  me   as  much   that   she   cared  about    so  much ,she   brought   umbrella  and  lunch   and  give  goodbye  kisses  But  my   mom  never  cared   about  me   she   hated   me   as  much  i  hated   her .
She  is  unfaithful   wife   and  irresponsible   mother . Her   confession   made    me   cry  ,i   hugged   her  and   told   her   that   it   was   foolishness  of   childhood  now   we   should  forget  about  it .

She   was   changed   and   this   was   when   i   experienced   for   the   first   and   last   time   that   people   change   actually  sometime   and   be   good  in   future.

Sorry   post   became  much   long   friends  but   i  really   wanted  to  share  this  today.
please  take  care ,stay  happy  and  positive.God  Bless  You  All!

 

32 comments:

  1. Bullies exist everywhere but it is great that you saw a change in one.

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  2. Even though we live in such different places, people act much the same. I had a boy that tormented me all through primary school. We moved then and he showed up at my high school too. He was still a nasty boy.

    I've heard that he became a minister and is a nice person. It is hard for me to believe that.

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  3. A different land, a different culture, but so much of this story happens in our schools everyday. It is good you were so strong, that kind of bullying often defeats weaker willed children.

    Excellent post on several levels.

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  4. What a beautiful story of grace and redemption! But poor you...I'm glad time has passed and you excelled. Your pain and suffering probably saved Nazima. Andrea

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  5. This is a powerful story, baili. You were a very strong girl to accept so much at your first school. It's amazing that Nazima was able to change - so often our behaviors become fixed. Forgiving her past mistakes shows what we know from your blog, that you have a kind heart. Thank you for telling us your story, and reminding us that people can truly change for the better.

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  6. Sorry to hear that you were so bullied by Nazima but glad she eventually grew up and apologized to you. I hope she was truly sorry.

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  7. What a story you have told in this post, Baili, even sadder still for it being all true. I was sorry to read of the pain and humiliation you suffered in that first school. I know we are constantly told that we should forgive our abusers, but that Nazima would have made it more difficult if I was the victim. I am happy for you that you have had such positive moments afterwards in your life.

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  8. How awful for you in your childhood years. It is not pleasant being the target of an aggressive bully. I am pleased that you got away from her.

    I am also pleased that eventually she transformed her own thoughts and life.

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  9. Thank you for sharing this. Isn't it something that bullies exist in so many different cultures. Glad your story has a good ending.
    Be blessed

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  10. I'm so sorry to hear of your struggles back then. Nazima was indded a bully. Her insecurities and troubles certainly made her very jealous of you. I hope she was sincerely sorry when she apologized.

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  11. It was very hard for you. But you know that you are the winner.

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  12. A very memorable experience that probably shaped you in part, Baili. But as time goes on, we get smarter and stronger and I KNOW you did. Look at your writing! Sadly, the bullying goes on today and everywhere. I hope our children learn to overcome it and move on with examples such as yours.

    Jane x

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  13. Life wasn't too good for you back then at school, but you rose above it but never forgot.
    Have a lovely Easter.

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  14. It has been hard for you. Luckily it is better now.

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  15. That is a moving story. Thank you for sharing it.

    It is wonderful that you overcame the bullying that you were exposed to. It is also wonderful that the person that you described here changed and repented.

    I agree that people can change. I have also seen this with folks that went to school with as well as people that I have known for a long time.


    Have a great week!

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  16. What a painful yet illuminating post. My heart hurt so for the younger you and I was so relieved when you eventually found support from your classmates and teachers. I so admire your being able to forgive her and to understand the pain that had driven her to act so deplorably. As wrong as she was, she helped to shape you into the strong woman you are today. Thank you for sharing this story.

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  17. Thanks for sharing your story of triumph and survival in a wicked world!

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  18. I don't take kindly to bullies. Thanks for sharing, sorry it was so rough for you. Thank you for coming over to visit at my blog, please come anytime.

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  19. Goodness, thank you for sharing these words and your story, I found it most moving.

    You overcame such difficulties, you triumphed ...

    Take care

    All the best Jan

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  20. And finally, everyone has grown up.

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  21. I was also bullied in school when I was young. There will always be bullies but it is good when some of them grew up and change for the better.

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  22. Thank you for sharing this story with us!
    Fortunately it ended happily. Not all do.
    Girls' education is one of the keys to a better world.
    Hugs and blessings!

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  23. Thank you for sharing this story. It touched me greatly. Sad to say, there are bullies the world over. I was bullied also at school. Some change their ways, others become adult bullies. I recognize their tactics immediately. Wishing you a great day Baili:)

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  24. I was so touched by your story, the hardships you suffered, and so moved that you found grace in the end. Sadly, this kind of behavior is still around today but I think people are more open to listen and less eager to judge. Al least I hope so.
    Amalia
    xo

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  25. This is a powerful story, Baili; and I'm so glad you shared it. Your teachers at the boys' school may have meant well, but they made things so much worse by using your performance to humiliate the boy students. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, who not only believed you but took steps to put you into a better learning environment. It says a lot about you that your tender heart was touched by Nakima's own story and that you could give her your friendship and forgiveness after having been so abused at her hand. I'm happy for you both that you've been able to put those troubling times behind you and move forward with your lives.

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  26. A touching story. Thankfully in time she saw the error of her ways, you were very gracious to accept her apology, not everyone would. Thanks for your kind comment on my blog.

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  27. I am so sorry what you went through my friend! Life has a way of doing things! Lessons or blessings. You went through a lot! I am so happy you got an apology! And, you are a wonderful person to accept it! Big Hugs!

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  28. A lovely and touching story.

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  29. Dear Baili - Your loving mother must have saved and healed your mental shocks from such terrible bullying. It was a good idea for you to be a student of girls-only school. In general, there are people who can sympathize other’s misfortune but don’t feel happy (at heart) about other’s happiness. To be jealous would be natural for little children, but adults must set it straight in upbringing. I’m happy for Nazima that she could realize her wrongdoing and apologize sincerely. We can learn from other’s mistakes as well as our own. Have happy days ahead.

    Yoko

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  30. Obrigada por partilhar esta sua história, nada fácil, mas que você soube enfrentar e aprender com as dificuldades. Realmente o tempo ajuda-nos a relativizar as coisas e traz com ele uma aprendizagem única.
    Uma boa semana.
    Beijos.

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  31. Thank you for sharing this powerful story, Baili. It's very difficult to be really smart, because so many people resent your abilities. Children can be very cruel, and sadly bullying is so common. I don't think anyone forgets the shame of being punished unfairly. You had a wonderful mother who stood up for you and supported you in your quest for education. She was an amazing woman! There is always the hope that people can change, but they must want to change themselves. You can't force it on them. My dad always said, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." The longer I live, the wiser I think that saying is. Have a great day!

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